Time Refugees
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Pennington County has rejected Lutheran Social Services’ efforts to settle time refugees in the county. Refugee spokesman Cyborg Neal Tapio, a street ninja from the year 2077, pleaded with commissioners to take his people, claiming his people were not responsible for “the death 💀 that came from the stars.” Commissioners were unmoved by his pleas for help, citing concerns that half Machine refugees would be incompatible with our culture and way of life. Members of the public were also concerned that refugees might try to assimilate their daughters and bring an increase in cyberpunk-themed crime.

LSS assured commissioners that time travel in this universe creates tangent dimensions, and therefore allowing the refugees would not create a paradox. Commission chair Deb Hadcock insisted that “I didn’t buy that argument in Avengers: Endgame and I’m certainly not buying it here. I Believe that time travel works like it does in Back to the Future and that allowing refugees could also damage the fabric of space-time.”

Currently, the time refugees are re-entering the vortex from which they emerged — no doubt facing an all too certain future.

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