Brain Slug Starves to Death at State Capitol

A Brain Slug starved to death this morning at the state capitol building. The poor pathetic creature was curled up under Rep. Tony Randolph’s desk. A Department of Wildlife agent was on the scene. “it’s pretty ugly, this place is a food desert for his kind, really not sure how he ended up in this terrible place. He must have heard all the noise and thought there was intelligent life in here and was tricked by that. I haven’t seen anything this sad since that Mind Flayer got stuck in the elevator with Fred Deutsch.” Discussion is ongoing about putting up a barrier to prevent species that feed on brain matter from wandering into the Capitol, getting disoriented, and starving. Until something can be done, this ecological disaster site will continue to claim lives.