Could you mix it up a bit?

A request from the staff at SDDP: After monitoring you via your electronic devices for a while now, we have the following request. Could you mix it up a bit? Seriously. We thought watching your intimate moments was going to be the best job ever, but it has been incredibly depressing. Very few of you are engaging in adult fun time as often as we’d like, and when you do, it is depressingly pedestrian. It would help if you mixed it up a little. Maybe try some role play or even some different positions? Perhaps some different rooms in the house? Growing up on the internet has given our staff some unrealistic expectations, I guess. Speaking of positions, could you please prop up your phones in the “landscape” orientation before you start? Thank you.