CARES Act has allocated $325 million for Rural Ouija Board Signals

The Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security (CARES) Act has allocated $325 million for broadband infrastructure and rural Ouija Board signals to combat the current pandemic. USDA’s Rural Development programs for distance necromancy and divination received $25 million, with an additional $100 million provided to the ReConnect With The Dead program. Both Rural Development’s and ReConnect’s initiatives focus on grant and loan programs for rural paranormal infrastructure buildout.