The following is a fan submitted story. Shared here with no SDDP editing or input.
I am enjoying your page. It’s pretty funny sometimes Please feel free to share the following. It will upset some. It is factually accurate satire. No one will object to the satire part, but they will have trouble with the facts. Some people just can’t stand reality anymore.
The Tale of the Orange Mayor Who Destroyed a Town: A Children’s Parable Based on True Events
By Garrett Garnos
There was once a small Town that was a fine place to live. Half the people in the Town identified as Apples, and the other half as Oranges. But, despite their differences, they always settled them through voting and got along.
Then, one day, the Oranges did something strange. They elected a Mayor who said and did bad things. He grabbed women’s privates without permission, declared bankruptcy multiple times, praised the cruel and undemocratic leaders of other towns, and committed fraud with his business and “charity.” The Apples pointed this out, but the Oranges did not seem to care. Perhaps because the Orange Mayor spent most of his time calling Apples bad names.
The Town became tense. The people did not trust each other much anymore. The Apples were confused about what the Oranges saw in their new Mayor and waited for the next election.
As the next election approached, the Orange Mayor did a terrible thing. He used the Town Treasury to bribe the Sheriff of a neighboring town to investigate the Apple’s Candidate. Everyone in Town knew about it, but only a few honest Oranges could admit it. The Oranges on the City Council would not even talk about it and pretended it never happened.
When election day came, the Apple Candidate won the official vote count by a lot. But the Orange Mayor, for the first time in the Town’s history, claimed victory anyway. His lawyers stood in the Town Square and spun tales of fraud and bad Apples. They had no evidence, but they made up for that by repeating their claims in big, angry voices. More and more Oranges got upset. More and more Apples grew concerned and wondered what was wrong with the Oranges.
The City Council conducted a recount, but they got the same outcome: the Apple Candidate had won. The Town Magistrate looked at the evidence and said there was no fraud, but the Oranges wouldn’t listen. The Town Magistrate then said that the Orange Mayor and his lawyers could be sued for their lies, but the Oranges still wouldn’t listen.
The Orange Mayor, who now felt above Town Law, started to pressure the City Council to find votes that did not exist. He was even caught on tape doing it, but the Oranges ignored it. He planned to use the Police to seize the Town voting machines, but, again, the Oranges ignored it. The Town Lawyer quit because the Orange Mayor asked him to lie about the votes. The Orange Mayor then pressured the Deputy Mayor to determine the entire election by himself, but the Deputy Mayor said, “No, that does not make sense. Our Town is a Democracy.”
Outside City Hall, the Orange Mayor gathered a group of ignorant, angry Oranges. Some were carrying weapons. Some wore camouflage and tactical gear. The Orange Mayor told them to “fight” 20 times. He called the Apples all kinds of terrible names. He told the ignorant Oranges they were “warriors” and “patriots.” He repeated the lie that the election was stolen, again and again. Finally, the Orange mob, filled with rage, stormed Town Hall. They beat Police and busted out windows and doors. The ignorant, angry Oranges even put-up gallows to hang the Deputy Mayor in the Town Square. All the City Council Members fled for their lives.
Once the dust settled and the Police regained order, many of the Oranges still refused to admit the Apple Candidate won. Luckily, there were just enough Apples on the City Council to prevent more trouble. Still, the Town was never the same. Most of the Oranges spent all their time criticizing Apples but refused to consider what they, or their Mayor, had done. They started to invent conspiracy theories, rather than face facts. The Apples did not know what to do. The Oranges seemed to live in a world of make believe
To this day, the Orange Mayor sits in his house on the hill and tells his lies. He still calls Apples all kinds of bad names and plans to take over the Town again. Many ignorant Oranges, even members of the City Council, still believe his lies and repeat those bad names. They give their money to the Orange Mayor and get angrier and angrier every day but never examine themselves. No one in the Town trusts each other anymore.
All the honest Apples, together with a few honest Oranges, know the Orange Mayor, and many on the City Council, need to be punished. They pray ignorant Oranges accept decency and honesty back in their hearts. They know that only then can the Town become, once again, a fine place to live for both Apples and Oranges.