The latest episode of “The Real Housewives of Capitol Hill” kicked off with the ultimate cliffhanger. Hang onto your “Make America Great Again” caps, because Republican Speaker nominee Jim Jordan decided to put his bid on pause, only after being met with rejection not once, but twice. It’s like watching a guy get swiped left on Tinder in real time. But, in a plot twist that even M. Night Shyamalan couldn’t predict, the White House actually extended an olive branch to House Republicans. Or maybe it was more of a celery stick. Either way, the message was clear: “Join this president at the adults table.”
The White House apparently decided that watching the House Republicans fumble like a quarterback with butter fingers wasn’t entertaining enough. So, they released a memo that was less of a gentle invitation and more of a “get your act together or get off the stage,” kind of statement. According to The Hill, the memo read, “As President Biden acts to make America more secure, grow our economy for the middle class, and protect our freedoms, House Republicans are falling over one another to find out who can be the most erratic and out of step with the priorities of working families.”
In the spirit of being as welcoming as your mother-in-law at Thanksgiving, the memo also stated that the House GOP couldn’t seem to stop “backbiting and competition to out-extreme each other.” It seemed the memo was issued in the same tone as a kindergarten teacher explaining to her class why finger painting with glue isn’t acceptable.
White House Deputy Press Secretary, Andrew Bates, was pulling no punches either. He declared the House GOP was “surfacing hardline positions that the American people have solidly rejected again and again.” Bates was referring to conspiracy theories about the 2020 election, radical abortion bans, and cuts to Medicare and Social Security. Ouch! Seems like the House Republicans are getting served some serious truth, with a spoonful of sass on the side.
Amidst all the drama, Judiciary Chairman Jordan decided to pass the buck, or rather, the gavel, to Republican Patrick McHenry. Known as the understudy waiting in the wings, McHenry was appointed Speaker Pro Tempore under house rules by ousted Speaker Kevin McCarthy.
So now, we’re left biting our nails, anxiously awaiting the next episode of this D.C. reality show. One thing’s for sure – it’s safe to say that the kids’ table isn’t looking so bad after all. So, let’s pop some popcorn, sit back, and watch House Republicans decide if they’re ready to “adult” yet. Stay tuned!