Far Right Culture War Agenda Gets Out Maneuvered

Well, isn’t it a dazzling day in the world of politics? The House, flag bearers for democracy, and everyone’s favorite group of amped up policy nerds, have passed a ginormous bipartisan defense bill. Let’s get this straight, it’s not just big, it’s $886 billion big. That’s a whole lot of zeros for those keeping count. To put that into perspective, it’s like buying 886 billion dollar store, well, anything.

And the goodies in this cornucopia of financial excess? A morale-boosting 5.2% pay bump for our service members and some critical investments to up our game against Charlie (China) and Ralph (Russia). But hold your horses, it doesn’t include funding for aid to Israel and Ukraine. Now don’t go calling the fun police, that’s in another $105 billion package.

The defense bill is proving to be quite the anti-depressive, inflating its budget by $28 billion (or a whopping 3%) more than last year’s version. It seems the only thing deflating faster than a blow-up castle at the end of a child’s birthday party is the resolve of far-right GOP lawmakers.

Now, these salty souls had their hearts set on crafting a Trojan horse filled with military restrictions to abortion access, transgender care, and DEI policies. The aim? To casually slip it into the defense bill when nobody was looking. But alas, their endeavors ended not with a bang but a whimper, as the bill passed with a vote of 310–118, outflanking their efforts. It’s like watching an epic game of chess, where you expect a checkmate but instead get a swift kick in the shins.

Humor aside, let’s give a round of applause for the House. They had a job to do, and they did it, even if it means we have to use a magnifying glass the size of the Hubble Telescope to see the fine print on our tax bills next year. But hey, it’s just money, right? And who needs that when you’ve got all these shiny, new defense toys.

In the world of politics, it’s the small victories that count, like avoiding an unwanted abortion restriction in a defense bill or managing to eat lunch without getting any on your tie. Today, we see the House basking in their victory glow, brushing off the far-right dust from their shoulders like champions.

What’s next on the agenda? Well, that’s anyone’s guess, but legislator roulette is a game that never ends, and there’s always another spin of the wheel just around the corner. Whatever the future holds, one thing remains crystal clear – the far-right culture war agenda may need to hit the drawing board again. Until then, let’s sit back, grab some popcorn, and enjoy the spectacle that is the joyous circus of politics!


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